He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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