im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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