I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize