if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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