I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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