Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing

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  (323): my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing http://tfl.nu/8j5t
  Replies (0) Good night (517) Bad night (761) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i think i have two assholes

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  (330): i think i have two assholes http://tfl.nu/b4sn
  Replies (67) Good night (680) Bad night (4475) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.

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  (215): Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire. http://tfl.nu/xwgk
  Replies (43) Good night (6688) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?

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  (608): This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form? http://tfl.nu/l7lr
  Replies (108) Good night (1308) Bad night (4691) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.

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  (606): I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel. http://tfl.nu/sip1
  Replies (41) Good night (3868) Bad night (1111) Order T-Shirt
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special

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  (941): I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special http://tfl.nu/g9sh
  Replies (11) Good night (5704) Bad night (908) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose

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  (716): its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose http://tfl.nu/vf99
  Replies (8) Good night (4327) Bad night (716) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell

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  (317): disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell http://tfl.nu/re5w
  Replies (11) Good night (3696) Bad night (624) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals

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  (817): We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals http://tfl.nu/i9zu
  Replies (12) Good night (1923) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.

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  (502): I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can. http://tfl.nu/7z31
  Replies (4) Good night (1595) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.

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  (315): I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down. http://tfl.nu/7l46
  Replies (5) Good night (1111) Bad night (412) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?

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  (515): Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck? http://tfl.nu/s6e2
  Replies (4) Good night (1453) Bad night (422) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy

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  (315): i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy http://tfl.nu/pdy7
  Replies (8) Good night (1782) Bad night (592) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.

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  (443): 6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego. http://tfl.nu/2reg
  Replies (1) Good night (513) Bad night (179) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.

  (1-925): View more from California

  How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?

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  (925): Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night. (1-925): How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure? http://tfl.nu/pvre
  Replies (13) Good night (1123) Bad night (157) Order T-Shirt

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