I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
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He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
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"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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