they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
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I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
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when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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