Will you blow on my dice?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize