She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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