Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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