i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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