It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize