Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize