Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
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