he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize