I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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