in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
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they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
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Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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