shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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