Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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