Texts From Last Night

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  (519): View more from Ontario

  was it more than 30 minutes?

  (416): View more from Ontario

  ya

  (519): View more from Ontario

  then you're in a relationship

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  (519): was it more than 30 minutes? (416): ya (519): then you're in a relationship http://tfl.nu/ie8p
  Replies (34) Good night (4774) Bad night (724)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed

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  (412): I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed http://tfl.nu/d0u5
  Replies (55) Good night (726) Bad night (3322) Order T-Shirt
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.

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  (620): We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example. http://tfl.nu/aei8
  Replies (23) Good night (5773) Bad night (589) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line

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  (203): Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line http://tfl.nu/4rr4
  Replies (11) Good night (1458) Bad night (4986) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...

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  (603): I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me... http://tfl.nu/t4o6
  Replies (22) Good night (1124) Bad night (3698) Order T-Shirt
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash

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  (857): They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash http://tfl.nu/jeu8
  Replies (10) Good night (2379) Bad night (929) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial

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  (845): Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial http://tfl.nu/xnww
  Replies (3) Good night (1417) Bad night (1141) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.

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  (925): We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely. http://tfl.nu/80gj
  Replies (7) Good night (2573) Bad night (472) Order T-Shirt
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.

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  (636): You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults. http://tfl.nu/yz23
  Replies (4) Good night (2045) Bad night (489) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.

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  (440): You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage. http://tfl.nu/sj4s
  Replies (9) Good night (851) Bad night (635) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.

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  (780): I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall. http://tfl.nu/azun
  Replies (5) Good night (563) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.

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  (613): I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots. http://tfl.nu/b0ef
  Replies (2) Good night (609) Bad night (319) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there

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  (617): There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there http://tfl.nu/2ki5
  Replies (1) Good night (695) Bad night (281)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.

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  (970): I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat. http://tfl.nu/w7x2
  Replies (8) Good night (994) Bad night (333) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.

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  (202): Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now. http://tfl.nu/7dy9
  Replies (2) Good night (639) Bad night (170) Order T-Shirt

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