it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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