Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
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I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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