Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize