lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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