my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize