I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
FUCK WHALES
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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