Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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