Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
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my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
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Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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