I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize