There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize