maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize