I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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