So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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