Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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