omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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