Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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