dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
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Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
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I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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