Will you blow on my dice?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
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I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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