I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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