I want to make a zoo with you.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
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bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
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Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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