I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize