Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize