the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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