that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I did not marry a roomba.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize