I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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