If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
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Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
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You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize