Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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