Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize