omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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