We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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